We are almost 7 weeks into this new baby thing. There are so many changes from when my kids were first born:
- bumpers are NOT allowed on the crib
- sides to the crib can’t move so throw away any crib in your attic
- back is best now (Halo sleepsacks rock) a rule which changed twice while I had my 3 babies.
- they have bases for infant car seats and levels in the carriers so you don’t have to guess whether or not it’s installed properly
Some things are a welcome change (I hated those bumpers) but some things not so much. People apparently are unaware of the etiquette or best practices for visiting the mom and new baby. Maggie was hounding the first week home by wannabe visitors, leaving passive agressive comments on Facebook about wanting to see the baby. Those who came stayed for hours, banging on the front door and not one casserole was left in our freezer. I chalk it up to the age, but in some cases it’s their mothers who were the worst offenders, so I’m not sure what happened.
So for those of you who are too young to know better or to those mothers who maybe forgot what it was like to have a new baby in the house, I’ve asked several of my blogging friends to come up with some tips for visiting baby.
Erin Lane from A Parenting Production on how to structure your visit:
Don’t ring the doorbell, don’t overstay your welcome (I think 30-45 minutes is the most I would stay unless it’s my best friend), and offer to bring something (meal, milk)
Kelby Carr from Type A Parent when asked about what the etiquette should be:
I always thought the woman who pushed a human out of her ladyparts dictated all etiquette.
And Kelby as a mom of twins, she has a few opinions on etiquette ahem…and what to do when visiting…
You visit a baby, you bring things!!! Diapers, freezer dinners, onesies, SOMETHING! We also had a “you wake them, you take them” rule. People pretty much tip toed around the twins.
Jendi Pegano of Simple Vlogging Tips says make yourself useful:
Never visit a new baby’s house empty handed! If you can’t bring something then DO something while you are there.
Julie Pron from Julieverse has a link to help if you are unsure:
Meals are helpful no matter if they baby is 4 weeks old or 6 months old. And, ahem. here’s a list of suggestions: http://blogs.babycenter.com/life_and_home/7-easy-meals-to-make-for-a-friend-with-a-new-baby/
Love this information from Angela England at Untrained Housewife:
My midwife gave us a poster for the door that had the rules 1-no sniffles, fevers or other signs of illness, even if its just a hot flash or allergies. 2- don’t stay more then 10 minutes unless you are doing dishes or laundry. She also said always answer the door in a bathrobe even if you are already dressed because then people won’t stay too long. Learn to say “oh no- baby is staying snuggled with mom right now” to any queries to hold the baby the first couple weeks.
Desiree Peeples at Mommy Reporter has a rule we put into place as well:
I made it clear up front that my baby SLEEPS at 5pm so people need to leave by 4pm so I can nurse and put him down. It seemed to work and no one complained. I think the new mom just needs to be firm and no worry about what other people think.