What words describe 2013?
Pain, frustration, heartache, disbelief, concern, exhaustion, fear …. coupled with joy, wonder, amazement and love.
In 2013 the sad words overshadowed the happy words and 2013 has taken it’s toll on me.
So for 2014, my One Word is LETITGO.
I keep repeating it over and over. LETITGO. LET IT GO. Forgive, give it over to God, trust that He will take care of everything.
2013 was a year of hurt even with all the joy that Beck brought to our family. We’ve felt pain and frustration all year long. We’ve been lied to and disrespected. We’ve covered up their lies and been ignored. We’ve been bullied and manipulated. We’ve been told everything would be taken care of and it wasn’t. It seems as though they only think of themselves. Or at least don’t think or care about the one thing that should mean the world to them. Love doesn’t just exist when it’s convenient and their actions say it all.
There has been no acknowledgement of all that Maggie has sacrificed and continues to sacrifice for Beck. They’ve taken the opportunity to attack her weaknesses and as her mother, I can’t sit by and watch them treat her this way.
I’ll never understand it. I’ll never forget it. But I have to forgive because it’s been exhausting feeling this way. And in 2014, I’ve made the decision to not give them that power over me any more.
For me that means the sickness in my stomach, the pain in my chest, the anxiety and frustration have to stop. The only way to make it stop is to not dwell on what they’ve done to us – mostly to Maggie and Beck – and understand that God’s driving this. What will be will be.
After all they aren’t doing this TO us. In the end they’ve done it to themselves. We only allowed what they’re doing to hurt us.
This is one resolution I have to keep.