Maggie and I joke that I’m her grusband. GrandmaHusband. Get it? The Gigi who lives with her and Beck, and plays the role of a stepparent more so than a grandmother every day. It’s tough for Maggie because she’s living with her mother and what 22 year old really wants to do that? It’s hard on me because I don’t get to be the traditional grandmother to Beck. She’s in my home and I’m in her home and her home rules have to take priority.

It’s about what’s best for Beck.

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So where most grandmas get to spoil – feed them cookies and let them stay up late and give them ice cream after every meal, I’m under mom’s house rules, and I have to adhere to the structure and rules that she’s set to best raise Beck.

Sometimes I feel jealous of other grandmas. Sometimes I feel cheated. But always, and even more so as he’s grown older, is communicating more clearly, and really showing his quirks and personality, I feel a completely different emotion.

Humility.

I’m humbled to spend every day watching him grow and mature, struggle with what’s new, and then overcome those struggles. I’m humbled to see the joy in his eyes and hear the joy in his voice. I’m humbled every time he tells me I’m his boy. And I’m humbled to be able to try to explain to him that I’m a girl – but in the end I know he’s only saying it because I always call him my boy. He knows love. And he loves me.

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Do I want to buy him every toy out there? Yes. Do I want to give him ice cream every night? Yes. But instead I get to play a role that one day, when Maggie moves out, I’ll ugly-cry miss. I know that Beck is as wonderful as he is because of the amazing job Maggie is doing as single mom. But I also know that just like it’s because of her, as grusband and part of that team, I can take some credit for that too.

And that is the most humbling feeling of all.

4 Comments on Being Gigi

  1. Sharon
    March 7, 2016 at 11:45 pm (12 months ago)

    I think it’s admirable that you are respecting your daughters rules for her son. Due to health issues I had, for an entire year, my Mom spent a lot of time in my home helping with my kids. I do have a husband, but needed someone at home with my kids and I during the day. We have a lot of rules in our home (that most homes don’t have) and I always appreciated how she did her best to stick to the rules of the house. Even if she didn’t agree with them all.

    Reply
  2. Meg Root
    January 18, 2016 at 9:21 am (1 year ago)

    This is a beautiful post (how could it not be with that cute kid) about how to use gratitude to get us over the hump of life’s challenges. I love having this reminder as I head into the week. And I love the name, Beck!

    Reply
  3. Cindy Brooks
    January 16, 2016 at 7:08 am (1 year ago)

    I’m (we’re) in the same boat, sort of. We have permanent custody of our 13 year old grandson. We’ve always been the constant in his life and he has been with us since he was 7. We have to be the parents and sometimes it’s really difficult. But we’re not cheating him out of grandparents, either. Sometimes we do overindulge as grandparents would, but he knows when we’re playing that role. In a way, it’s probably easier for us because we are the ones that make the decisions and set the rules. As you said, it’s all about the kid!

    Reply
    • Linda
      January 18, 2016 at 9:04 am (1 year ago)

      Thank you Cindy. Yes, it’s all about the kids. I’m trying to find the best way to have both worlds. I know that as he grows older he’ll understand that I am a grandparent – especially when Maggie moves out (eventually) and I can take on that role.

      Reply

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