Losing my job and being unemployed wasn’t the scary part.
In January 2015, I was laid off from my job. I was terrified to be unemployed and worried about what that would mean for my ability to care for Maggie and Beck. But while fear of no paycheck was scary and unnerving, the worst part – something that has cut me to the core and lasted through the year was my loss of trust in anything and everything. I don’t know when I’ll feel truly safe again (even though I’ve got an amazing job and am in a much better situation) -. I haven’t felt this fragile since my divorce and that took years to overcome. Now I’m back to those old feelings of not trusting people, situations, or the future. It’s a heavy burden and one I have to focus on conquering in 2016.
I’m still not done purging and downsizing.
So when we moved into this 1000 sq. ft. home in 2014, I honestly thought we’d fit. We’d gotten rid of so much stuff which made moving more simple than it had been the previous times. Not sure what I was thinking. Moving into a 1950’s home with 1950’s closets – well, you get the picture. The number of packing boxes needed had been reduced substantially and the time it took to pack was no biggie. But still… we. don’t. fit. We’ll stay here through the fall of 2016 at least and then evaluate what we can do. Until then we need to make some hard decisions on what we can realistically do to manage all the stuff.
Terrible 2s is a straight up lie. It’s all about the terrible 3s.
Beck is quite the little bundle of energy. He’s got a mind of his own and exerts his free will all the time. At any time. They say that kids are obstinate with someone they trust and feel safe with – and let’s just say Beck trusts the heck out of Maggie and me. That’s a good thing, right?
- Bedtime? When he’s ready.
- Come eat the dinner Mommy fixed. *grabs bag of bread and soy nut butter and begins to make his own sandwich*
- Nap? Maybe in an hour.
- Don’t let the dog out. *hears crate door open and close*
- Put your toys away? *growls at us and keeps playing with toys*
Maggie has the patience of an angel and is amazing at handling the defiance. i think she counts to 10 all the time. I keep telling her that those stubborn traits are what will get him ahead in life, and someday he’ll actually stop being so difficult. It might be age 16 or 21 – but trust me, it will happen. Plus, Gigi usually thinks he’s cute. Or as my grandmother used to say about me – “poor thing is just tired”.
So far, thinking about 2016 makes me want to hide in the closet because most things are overwhelming right now. But like all things, we have to face the new year with a positive outlook and a smile, and hope that somehow next year’s post is filled with all the happy we can handle. Oh and there’s no room in the closet anyway!