I believe in the right of a grandparent to spoil their grandchild.

Who’s with me?

But there is a sense of responsibility that comes with that right. Our home is a little different because I’m more like a parent in many respects, having daily interactions with B, helping when I can with the day to day, and getting more than my fair share of snuggling – at least more than most grandparents get. That’s good, but that’s also a challenge (well not the snuggling part).

If it’s taught me one thing, it’s that I need to spoil in a way that doesn’t contradict Maggie’s parenting since we live under the same roof. I try – I really do. Sometimes it’s hard not to slip him another cookie when Mom has already said 2 are enough. But in the end it comes down to consistency (that is key for B) and the need to have one set of rules that both of us follow. Maggie has enough challenge with consistency (or lack of) between her rules and the rules at dad’s. B doesn’t need the confusion and Maggie doesn’t need any more frustration.

Am I looking forward to the day when I can just be Gigi? Yes and no. I want the special sleepovers. I want things that are just mine and B’s. But I’m so blessed to spend every day with him that I don’t know how I’ll handle the two of them moving on.

Especially the snuggles.

Until then, I’ll spoil when I can, but always under the watchful eye of Mom. Her rules, her boy. My Gigi time will come.

6 Comments on Spoiling Thoughtfully

  1. Melanie Nelson
    March 30, 2015 at 12:18 pm (2 years ago)

    I’m sure so many moms would love to read this. It’s a tricky balance, but you’re finding it well. Like Julie, I love that you acknowledge and respect Maggie’s parenting. It has to be hard! ;)

    Reply
  2. Shannan
    March 30, 2015 at 12:13 pm (2 years ago)

    I love this!! That ones one of the things that my mom did so very well. That deference to me as parent when we were under the same roof made all the difference. I’m so happy Maggie has that with you!

    Reply
  3. Julie
    March 29, 2015 at 10:44 pm (2 years ago)

    I love how you respect Maggie’s parenting. There are so many stories of Grandma spoiling, or acting in a way unacceptable to the parents, it’s amazing that you all have found a way to not just make it work, but to form a real support system of family.

    Reply
  4. Kelly
    March 27, 2015 at 2:21 pm (2 years ago)

    When I was a new mom I also lived with my parents. It was tough! But it’s great that you recognize that there are benefits to living together that you wouldn’t have otherwise and you’re willing to follow along with the rules for now. :)

    Reply
  5. Cindy Brooks
    March 27, 2015 at 3:40 am (2 years ago)

    I’m with you! Love spoiling our grandson, but we are raising him. We are his permanent guardians and have had him with us for almost 5 years. There is a very fine line when you are truly grandparents and parents to the same kid! Good for you for respecting Maggie’s rules. I hope B’s Dad will come around and work with Maggie on parenting. My ex had a total lack of rules at his house and was a friend, not a parent. It was very hard on our boys (and me)!

    Reply
  6. Andrea
    March 26, 2015 at 2:56 pm (2 years ago)

    You are an awesome Gigi to be so thoughtful of mama. They both know your love and that goes a long way!

    Reply

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