You never get a full night’s sleep. You never get a full day’s work done.
Everything you do is interrupted by a toddler who needs something. Anything. Nothing. Everything. All. Day. Long. Every. Single. Minute.
Every time you turn on a TV show, every time you miss THAT moment in the movie, every time you rewind to catch that moment and have to rewind the movie again, every time you sing the Bumble Bee song – all 158673 times in a row, every time you get dressed, every time you get undressed, every time you get undressed and dressed again because of a Beck-induced mess, every meal you cook, every meal you try to eat, every meal you reheat and try to eat again, every homework paper you write, every homework assignment that you do right before class, every homework assignment you forget or give up on, every book you read, every book you try to read and end up re-reading 10 times, every time you pick up, every time you clean, every time you pick up what you just cleaned, every time you walk the dog, every time you can’t get to the dog in time and are thankful your dog likes pee-pee pads.
He’s there. And he’s demanding…. something.
Oh and what’s a bathroom break?
I’m exhausted just watching your life.
This week has been a hard one. Your little boy is very sick. It breaks your heart and wears you out. You are the one who takes care of him every time he’s sick and he’s been sick a lot in his short little life. The Grandmas try to help as much as we can, but it’s you he needs. It’s you he wants. It’s a situation that’s not easy for two parents to handle. But as a single mom, you do it all without blinking because you have to. It means a lot of missed classes, missed work and missed fun. You wish you had another parent to help, and someday you will. Someday you both will.
But for now it’s you – this is your time. And you are his constant.
You have every right to be frustrated, exhausted, weary and anxious. It’s a lot to deal with when your days are wall to wall Beck/work/school/study/rinse/repeat. You handle all of this like you were born to be a mother and in my heart I believe you were.
So realize that while it may seem unfair that it’s all falling on you, and that you are the only one who’s there for him – when you think about it, that is actually the best part.
You are there for him. You GET TO BE there for him.
There is no “have to” in taking care of him. You get to take care of him. You get to be the one who snuggles him when he’s feeling his worst. You get to be the one who comforts him in the middle of the night when he has a fever. You get to be the one that kisses his booboos and at this pace he’s going to have a LOT of booboos.
You are snuggling him right now while he’s on the nebulizer and he couldn’t feel safer.
You get to be that person.
He knows you and needs you and will always know that you are his.
It’s just the beginning of many years of getting to take care of his hurts and booboos and bumps and bruises. I can’t explain to you how hard it all will be and yet I also can’t explain how it will be the most rewarding part of your life.
I love you. Hugs from Granny.