Twitter people.  You love it and you love followers.

OR DO YOU?

Here is the fastest way to lose followers, get blocked, and make a bad impression in general.  And I’m talking to human people not brands and businesses.  That’s a whole other post….

I’m going to break them down into categories, because if you really want to know how to do this you probably need me to talk…. very…  slowly….

What can you do to increase your chances of being UNFOLLOWED ON TWITTER

Your Avatar:

*Keep the egg.  The twitter default.  Nothing says “I’m human” like an egg.

*Be naked.  This gets you unfollowed before you even get followed.  I have not tested this out personally.

*Be a blog button or a logo.  You probably spent a whole $5 on that blog button…get your money’s worth.

*Be animated.  I haven’t been able to let go of myspace either.

Your Bio:

*Make your bio a stupid statement like “WHO’S MAH DADDY?”.  This gives me a real sense of who you are and why you might want to connect with random people. (and btw I have no idea who YO DADDY IS)

*You have 160 characters.  Go ahead and see if 220 will fit in there.  You know something like this:

“Review blogger, brand ambassador, all around happy person. I’m a mom of 3 and would really like to connect with you. The most important thing you’ll want to kno”

What?  I’m dying here….

*Refer to yourself as a social media maven or guru.  Shows you are current with all the digital buzz words.

*Leave it empty.  Sometimes nothing says everything.

Your Tweets!

*Tweet the same thing from 4 different accounts.  Please.

*Tell us every mundane thing you do all day long.

fed the fish

went to the bathroom

ate a sandwich

whoops! forgot to wash my hands after the bathroom trip!

got the runs. no idea why

*Auto DM me your facebook page or blog and ask me to follow you there. I guess you aren’t engaging enough on twitter so I have to go somewhere else.  My guess is you also have either the guru or maven bio.

*Send me random links that have nothing to do with me.  “hey you might like this”.  Even better if your avatar is naked.

*Put a . in front of EVERY tweet you @ someone.  Everything you have to say is so important.  I’m impressed you can regurgitate that much relevant stuff all. day. long.

*TWEET IN ALL CAPS.  EVEN BETTER IF IT’S DURING A TWITTER PARTY.  AND IF YOU DON’T TWEET IN ALL CAPS MAKE SURE YOU “RT” EVERYONE WHO DOES.

*Participate in a twitter party with a #hashtag like #TOILETWAND.  Show how classy you really are….

You don’t have to do them all to get unfollowed.  You might only need one..maybe two… Find a combination you like, the Twitter Unfollow Cocktail of sorts, and go for it.  Tell me how it works out.  You’ll have to let me know here, because if you do any of this I have probably already unfollowed you!

9 Comments on How to get UNFOLLOWED on Twitter

  1. jodifur
    April 11, 2011 at 9:36 pm (7 years ago)

    Also, tell me how to make money on twitter. Or get more followers. Or, talk more about the AUTO DM, please.

    Reply
  2. Elle
    April 11, 2011 at 12:57 pm (7 years ago)

    So I am guilty of having a blog button as my photo, but I have changed my avatar a couple of times and this is the one I like. I am not sure why a button as an avatar is a bad idea. I enjoy reading people’s opinions so it was good to hear yours. Cheers and please top by my site or view my posts if you want to see my face. http://contributor.yahoo.com/user/1018308/elle_n_em.html

    Reply
    • Linda
      April 11, 2011 at 6:34 pm (7 years ago)

      some people have reasons for not going public with their face on twitter and need privacy for obvious reasons. in general, i think twitter is to connect on a personal level, even in business. I know I trust more when I can see a face attached to a statement or tweet. but hey, i always say there is no right or wrong way to blog or tweet. just tons of opinions!!
      thanks for stopping by!

      Reply
  3. Michelle Smiles
    April 11, 2011 at 11:41 am (7 years ago)

    My personal favorites are folks who never tweet anything – only retweet others. And people who insult half of the folks who follow them “Anyone who voted for X must be a moron!”

    Reply
    • Linda
      April 11, 2011 at 6:18 pm (7 years ago)

      yes they belong on another internet!

      Reply
  4. Stephanie
    April 11, 2011 at 11:38 am (7 years ago)

    I am fairly new to Twitter, and by fairly I mean I signed up about two years ago, did nothing with it and then finally started using it about six weeks ago. Since I am still learning it is nice have a list of tips about what NOT to do. There is one thing in the list I still do and I know it is bad but I am having a really hard time coming up with a blurb for my bio. Bad Tweeter (Twit?), I know :(

    Reply
    • Linda
      April 11, 2011 at 6:18 pm (7 years ago)

      be honest. it’s ok to be fun if that’s your schtick (sp?). make sure you put some keywords in there tho (mom, blogger, ventriloquist) whatever you do, so the RIGHT people will connect with you.

      Reply
  5. MommaDJane
    April 11, 2011 at 10:56 am (7 years ago)

    Fine, I’ll change my bio and remove the ‘I’m yo Momma’ sentence. But you know… I am a Guru, not sure exactly of what, but I just feel it! ;-)

    Reply
    • Linda
      April 11, 2011 at 6:16 pm (7 years ago)

      ok, you be a guru then, and i’ll go all maven on you!

      Reply

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