It’s the beginning of the end.


My daughter is a senior in high school.  She’s my youngest.  I am totally freaking out about it, though I’m retaining my composure as best as I can.  You’ll only find me sobbing in the corner in the fetal position once a week or so.  Not bad huh?

When I think about being all alone in the house next year, I really start to question my life.  It’s almost like graduating from college and starting your life from scratch.  I’m now on the precipice looking down on the next phase of the journey.  I’m quite afraid of heights.

That’s some scary stuff there.  3 kids was busy, 2 kids was busy, 1 kid is busy.  No kids?  hmmm.  I have not been without a child in the house for 21 years. And now that I’m divorced, I will have no one here to make my daily life difficult. I know that may sound good to you right about now.  But for me the gut wrenching has begun.  Every time we hit a “last time this will happen” I die a little.

Am I being too dramatic?  Maybe.  I’m just not sure what I’ll do when I have to grow up and be an adult without kids.  And I’m not sure I want to find out…  Up until a minute ago this day was forever away.   Now it’s around the corner.

I know I’m still a mom and still the mom, but who am I really?  And why the heck am I getting so deep on the blog.  Can’t we just photoshop my head on a pumpkin or something and lighten things up?

2 Comments on Turnover

  1. Lauralee Hensley
    October 23, 2010 at 12:15 am (8 years ago)

    Bet if you get too lonely you could be a foster mom. I mean you raised your kids to be great and maybe some little one could use some of your lovin’ during a tough time in their life. Just a thought.

    • Linda
      October 23, 2010 at 8:23 pm (8 years ago)

      thank you! and you know, I have thought of babysitting. I love the little one. we’ll see what “tomorrow” brings…


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