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As you know I have a favorite Barbie that I use to tell the story of my life.  I like that the doll has a tan like me and a 2 inch waste NOT like me.  She is the perfect character.

Or was…

I lose something every time I go away it seems.

San Fran –  my wireless card

L.A. – my Barbie.

But the question remains…did I forget her or did she run away to L.A. L.A. land?

Looking at the night before, I’m starting to wonder what the real story is.

Of course I usually use the first person to tell my stories, but I am not missing, she is.  So it will be told in Barbie Person.  And here are the timeline of events that led up to her demise.

6/24/2010 8:20 pm
Barbie sees flowers and feels special in her room at the Four Seasons.

6/24/2010 8:33

The view is spectacular from the 9th floor.


6/24/2010 10:20

Hung out on the balcony all evening looking at the skyline


6/24/2010 10:25

Thinks she sees Beyonce!


6/24/2010 10:26

Waves to Beyonce or whoever that girl with the booty is?


6/24/2010 10:48

So that’s way too much and we need a little vino from the mini bar to recuperate.


6/24/2010 11:01

We are a lightweight.


6/24/2010 11:20

Somehow we made it into the bed *does not remember that part but thank you


6/26/2010 10:20 am

Press Junket for Despicable Me.  Has photo taken with a Minion….and a few others but we shall not drop names (cough julieandrewsstevecarellmirandacosgrovejasonsegel cough)


And that’s the last we saw of her.  Did she get lost in all 28 feet of that Four Season’s bed?

Did she fall over the balcony looking for Beyonce again?

Did she crawl under the bed so she wouldn’t have to come back to Richmond?

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14 Comments on Where in L.A. is Barbie?

  1. HilLesha
    July 2, 2010 at 7:21 am (8 years ago)

    You made my morning! LOL!!!

  2. Lauralee Hensley
    June 30, 2010 at 2:23 am (8 years ago)

    Mini Poem becoming too long: Barbie Where Are You part III
    Barbie, Barbie are you at a happening club,
    or some kind of all night spa getting a back rub?
    Did you wander off to get some fast food grub
    and instead wander into a biker pub?
    Barbie were you beamed up high
    into a spaceship in the night sky?
    If the aliens want to study you,
    well what’s a plastic Barbie really to do?
    Just ask them if they’ll let you phone home,
    so Linda knows you’re not just on the roam.
    Actually if you think this is what’s happening to you,
    see if you can find a mirror and see if your head is black and blue.
    You may be having a visual hallucination or two,
    caused from falling through the rails after that glass of vino sized for a human or two.
    If you went shopping let me enlighten you
    that a plastic body doesn’t do what a plastic credit card is meant to.
    You can’t charge those clothes and shoes to your plastic booty,
    they’ll expect from you real looty.
    Since Linda informed us that you are broke,
    the stores will see even you Famous Barbie Doll as a joke.
    Hold back those tears of fear,
    it’s not like you’re going to get arrested like some other shoplifting stars my Dear.
    They’ll just deny your form of plastic
    and try to get you to take out a credit card by shoving at you an application and a classic Bic.
    Now a Bic may be a good signature signing pen,
    but remember you won’t have any money to pay the credit card bills when they come rolling in.
    I hope someone didn’t talk you into getting a tatoo,
    because on someone tiny like you it may look and feel like a giant boo boo.
    Oh Barbie, Barbie where are you?
    Please, please give us a signal or a clue.

  3. Lauralee Hensley
    June 30, 2010 at 12:44 am (8 years ago)

    Golly Linda you’re still awake. See where I’m at it’s two hours earlier. This Barbie thingy may require you to take a sleeping pill or two to get some rest.

    • Linda
      June 30, 2010 at 12:46 am (8 years ago)

      yes, i am up, still laughing at your story. I think you know Barbie better than i do!

      • Lauralee Hensley
        June 30, 2010 at 12:56 am (8 years ago)

        No, I’m probably just deranged from playing with Barbie dolls too much as a silly kid.

  4. Lauralee Hensley
    June 30, 2010 at 12:42 am (8 years ago)

    Mini Poem: Barbie Where Are You Part Two.
    Barbie, Barbie did you go back looking over the rails,
    fall over and land on the conrete sidewalk thereby breaking your plastic fingernails?
    Did you look for somewhere to get a manicure,
    then forgot which direction you came from because you got confused in some kind of detour
    or was your mind still in some kind of vino blur?
    Were you arrested because you couldn’t pass the sobriety test,
    didn’t the cops know that a fall like that would cause a head injury to even the plastic best?
    Hiccups aren’t just caused from too much to drink,
    they can mean increasing intracranial pressure which the hiccups temporarily shrink.
    Did an ambulance rush you to a hospital because no one was seeing you blink?
    Where or where can you be, let us all think, think, think.
    Did you run away with the armored car guy from Brink’s?
    Did he give you a story about buying you diamonds, sports cars, and minks?
    If he was a lying security guard then he just stinks, stinks, stinks.
    Contact any L.A. blogging mom and she’ll send Linda the links, links, links,
    to find you and get you back home where life will no longer be blue, but Barbie Pink.
    Oh into the dispair we will all sink,
    if we don’t see you give us another plastic wave, since we all know you can’t wink.

  5. Lauralee Hensley
    June 30, 2010 at 12:22 am (8 years ago)

    Mini Poem: Barbie Where Are You.
    Barbie, Barbie are you lost in L.A.?
    Now I’m glad you didn’t go to see the cows and get lost having a roll in the hay.
    Is this a game on Linda that you’re wanting to play?
    The Four Seasons lost and found box is not the way,
    to have a great vacation experience or even hitch a ride to Hollywood via the highway.
    Barbie, Barbie are you searching for Dr. Rey?
    Was it something about me saying your nose was too skinny the other day?
    Even if you want more plastic surgery I’m sure you’ll be on a waiting list until at least May?
    Barbie, Barbie call home to Linda is what I really hope you feel or hear us all think or say.
    Don’t head west to the beaches in some silly real tanning foray.
    Just use the fake tanning or bronzing lotions or sprays, okay?
    Barbie please call Linda right away
    if you’re in the Four Seasons lost and found box next to that ashtray made out of clay.
    We need you back here yesterday, tomorrow, no I mean today.
    If you don’t come back I think we’ll all sadly swoon and sway.
    If you’ve been kidnapped I just pray,
    that you can let us know in some way.
    Don’t let our sunny Barbie’s memories turn to gray.

    • Linda
      June 30, 2010 at 12:29 am (8 years ago)

      MINI poem? I think thats one of your longest yet! And perfect, I’m sure Barbie will be home right away! If she’s not still passed out somewhere. ;)

    • Linda
      June 29, 2010 at 7:39 pm (8 years ago)

      she’s a ton of fun. maybe too much!!

  6. Alli
    June 29, 2010 at 9:14 am (8 years ago)

    These barbie posts are hilarious!

    • Linda
      June 29, 2010 at 5:23 pm (8 years ago)

      thank you my dear!

  7. MommyNamedApril
    June 29, 2010 at 9:11 am (8 years ago)

    I bet she hitched a ride to vegas.

    • Linda
      June 29, 2010 at 9:13 am (8 years ago)

      probably. sad for her those pants had no pockets so she has no money. wonder how she’ll do with that.


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